Supporting a friend or loved one experiencing domestic abuse can be challenging, and it's natural to want to protect them. However, intervening directly can be dangerous for both you and them. Instead, offer empathetic listening without judgment, educate yourself about abuse dynamics, help them develop a safety plan, and encourage them to seek professional help. Respect their decisions and ensure you take care of your own emotional well-being. By doing so, you can provide meaningful support without increasing risk.
If you are in an emergency, please call 999.
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Make sure you speak in private. Make it clear you won’t judge. Only then will he/she feel safe enough to open up.
Try “You haven’t seemed yourself lately. Is there anything you want to talk about? Is everything OK at home?”
Listen. Believe them. Individuals are often dismissed. They’re told he seems like a nice guy, or a great dad. Trust what individual says.
Your friend might blame herself. Tell her she is not to blame. He alone is responsible.
Don’t ask why individual hasn’t left or judge their choices. Instead, build their confidence and focus on their strengths.
She may have been deliberately isolated. Say you are there for her, and that there are solutions.
Reassure her about what it’s like to call us. Help her find out about her Your rights and options.
It might take several tries before she confides in you. Be patient. Recognising the problem is the first step.
If you have spotted any of the signs of domestic abuse, reaching out to your friend is the first step. Leaving
a
violent partner is a process, not a single act. It takes, on average, seven attempts before a woman is able to
leave for good.
Remember: if you see or hear an assault, or you are worried your friend might be in an emergency situation, you
can call the police on 999.
It takes huge courage to leave someone who controls and intimidates you. Leaving a violent partner is a process;
many often attempt to leave several times before making the final break. Leaving is the most dangerous time for
them; it is important your friend seeks specialist support if the individual is planning to leave.
If you work with us, you will meet many experiencing domestic abuse. Certain professionals have specific duties to support and protect someone experiencing, or at risk of, domestic abuse. You should ensure you understand your duties, and the policies and procedures your organisation has in place to recognise abuse and support victims. You may find our tips on how to speak to survivors about abuse useful. Remember, you may be the first person to whom a woman discloses her abuse. This may be her only opportunity to access support. It is critical that you listen to her and believe her, and that you are non-judgmental and respond safely and appropriately.